No sooner than I post yesterdays post anxiety started rearing its ugly head. I was dwelling on what to eat again, the what could I eat? Couldn’t find anything in the house so the panic cycle almost started. I can recognize it now in tend to be able to stop it. Then start thinking about money situation again and same thing. I can usually stop the full on panic attack now but the anxiety stays. Yesterday it stayed most of the day and was annoying as hell. I got things done but in the evening it was getting unbearable.
When the wife got home I went for a walk. I been doing that almost every evening now it it tends to help. Unlike last year when I started my walking program Im not going for distance and speed, I just get out and walk. Like last night my chest was pounding and my limbs were feeling like jello but I got out their and walked while listening to a podcast. In the beginning paying attention to my breathing, breathing deeply. But soon was just walking and listening. At the end of the walk I was feeling a bit better. Made a smoothie and ate a muffin, took my B and O3 and chased it off with a night cap of NyQuil. I have found that NyQuil will knock everything out and allow me to sleep, which I did well. Out by 10 and slept the whole night.
Now this morning has arrived . Eyes opened and first impression was good but that dosent seem to last. Stomach gets queasy as I get up lump in throat check… and same feeling in chest. I can feel it just below the surface waiting to come out, kinda like the hulk. Muscles a bit tense in the chest and arms. I just want to be normal again. Also have this overwhelming desire to just lay down and sleep, hope that just a prolonged effect of the NyQuil.
Well its about time to walk daughter to school. We will see how today goes. No sessions, just need to upload some orders to the labs and burn a couple cd’s so good day to relax (or dwell on things).
We shall see