I found myself in deep thought yesterday morning and that is always a dangerous thing. I realized that I am almost back to where I was last year at this time in a lot of aspects.
Last year March/April I was pretty busy business wise, in fact you could say overwhelmed. They both had over 20 sessions and April was my biggest money month ever. Was eating anything I wanted hadn’t exercised for years and health started going downhill. With a breakdown in anxiety in April/May to cap everything off I then started reading and looking into getting healthier and getting more organized as to relieve the stress load. I started exercising and eating fresh and whole foods and started feeling great! Got my office organized and some systems to hopefully get things done in a timely manner and leave more time for relaxing and family.
Today I noticed that I have fallen backwards. I havent eaten anything fresh in a few months and Im even back to eating California burritos (oh how I missed them). Past few weeks I have been staying up till 12am working on stuff and for awhile I was ok with that but with the current diet it was unsustainable. Sessions are geting back up to 18-22 a month, something I said I didnt want but its hard to say no. Basicly stress and anxiety are building up again and I dont want to go back n meds.
Now I wont say it has been full circle and some things I have improved on. I have not gone completely back to fast food and boxed frozen meals. I still only shop at the local good food store instead of Vons. I still do a smoothie a day either homemade or Jamba. Its just a general feeling that I have gone backwards in lots of areas. I am still making weekly payments to my IRA and investing, paying more than the min on debts trying to get knock them out.
Maybe we are ment to live in circles in hopes that each time we learn something new and the week before we die we will finally have everything under control.
So I’m making another effort to change things for the good again and hope more of them stick this time around. Get organized and live each day with a purpose instead of bouncing around from one thing to another hoping to complete one of them.
How about you? Do you feel that you are going in circles at times? How do you break out of the cycle?